Dear Church - I Tried to Love You First

To the Church who was my very first love.

Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent, which, in my eyes, is a truly beautiful time of meditation and thanksgiving. That may seem really out of place, but it's the truth. Sure - you get the rap of it being a time when the faithful give up sweets, coffee or, most recently, social media for 40 days, which is different from what my parents and other Catholic elders experienced- a sad and somber, long period of time where you weren't allowed to do anything remotely entertaining.

But really, both are superficial. I know these forty days are meant to be much deeper than that. 

What it is, what it's meant to be, is a time of simple living, prayer and fasting, if possible, in order to gain an intimate closeness with God. And yes, I know you mean it to be a time to truly understand the sacrifice of Christ on the cross, his journey and his suffering, but not because that was all that happened, but because, in the end, it helps us understand the ultimate sacrifice of love. 

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends. - John 15:13

The passage I heard so many times from you, the one I've always tried to follow above all else. 

A week and a few days ago, 21 Christian hostages were beheaded by ISIS fighters. 21 Christians. A few of which, it is said, yelled out the phrase "Oh God", "Oh Jesus" right before they were killed. I believe this to be the closest a human could possibly be to emulating God's perfect love. 

It's so strange to know you taught me the importance of that type love. In fact, you nurtured it, let it flourish. And I felt it - it was always so clear to me. But I never understood why so many other people did not. I never understood as I got older why the focus seemed to shift to things that were small in comparison. Maybe it's because the world is rapidly changing and you felt the need to preach about the importance of morality since no one was hearing about it anywhere else. But that message somehow began to overshadow the message of love that was clearly the root of the faith and after a while it was too much to handle. Certain subjects were bearable and I could even swallow, but there is one subject in particular that was too personal to ignore. 

I can't even remember why or when but somehow homosexuality became such a hot topic. Like truly and overly talked about. All over the news. Catholic bloggers who I followed talked about it. People came out of the shadows proclaiming they used to be gay, writing articles about how they came to see the light and understand that their lifestyle was wrong. And fast-forward to a few months ago when Pope Francis shared a bit of a mercy with a message of tolerance for the LGBT community, many were in an uproar. It was and still is mind boggling to see the lack of love that is so apparent when it concerns the gay community.

What I do remember is the message that kept reappearing during the Prayers of the Faithful ...

For the sanctity of marriage - one man, one woman. Let us Pray to the Lord: Lord hear our prayer. 

That message doesn't mean or read anything other than what it says, but it was that with everything else that I couldn't handle anymore. All the media. All the announcements from people I love and trusted. The occasional sermon dedicated to the topic. 

It all just made me feel so unbearably guilty.

I want you to know how hard I actually tried to ignore my feelings. I tried to let them go, sweep them under the rug, telling myself it was a phase. I reassured myself I felt this way because I had a new-secular-type job with more access to worldly things, therefore causing me to have sinful, lustful thoughts that needed to be stated every time I went to confession. I even prayed for myself. I even tried to date boys in order to at least follow your teachings. I even think I may have loved one of them. Maybe so, but the connection simply wasn't there. Who am I kidding? It's never really been there for the opposite sex. 

Just know that through it all I wanted so much to love you first. I tried so hard to love you first, okay?

I just couldn't ignore it anymore. 

I couldn't ignore the fact that I asked one of my best friends in the fifth grade what she thought it felt like to be gay. I couldn't ignore that in middle school I fell for a girl in my group therapy session. In high school, I exchanged a notebook of secrets with a girl who was two years older than me and became my first real case of puppy love - it makes me smile just to think of how jealous I was every time she wrote about her crushes and relationships in our book. In college, I fell for a girl, so much harder than I had for anyone else. I followed her everywhere. I met her between classes for coffee. And when she couldn't meet me between classes, I bought her Iced Venti Non-Fat Chai Teas and took them to her. But I never said a word to anyone. 

I'd ignored it all my life and I just couldn't do it anymore.

And when I met her, I didn't want to ignore it anymore.

I knew it was real, she was real. My life and my feelings were no phase and this something lustful. She was a testament to my journey, a battle within myself, the chance to prove to myself how willing I was to fight for it. And my love for her helped me do it for me. It is her, who is good and funny and makes me smile. She's the person who was my friend before she became my girlfriend, from whom I've never kept any secrets. Who has helped me feel whole even when I'm not with her. Who helps me be who I really am. Who encourages me to be an individual, the best I can be on my own. She has seen me at my very worst and at my most vulnerable, when I lost many friendships after they knew I had finally accepted a part of who I was, when people I loved slandered me and prayed for me because they didn't understand my life choices. And when I've shut down, she has never let me stay there, always helping me to get back to a place of goodness. 

And if that's not real love you taught me - the selfless kind, not founded on the physical or the sexual -  I don't know what is. 

But please, don't ever confuse this poorly written yet honest blog post with the fact that it has actually been a very difficult process to let you go. 

I want you to know I distanced myself from you not because you are full of hypocrites, judgmental and imperfect people who make too many mistakes- I actually hate it when people say that. I am one of those people, learning each day from the wrongs that I want to right, my sins no better or worse than the rest of the human race. I distanced myself because trying to be in love with you first didn't allow me to love myself at all. It didn't allow me to accept or live a day without thinking that the world had brainwashed me, that because of my decision to accept myself and love someone I wasn't supposed to love made everything negative that happened thereafter a direct consequence of the bad choices I had made.

My God - I was and am more than gay. And although I've suffered greatly for it, I needed to let myself live enough to let everyone see that.

Just know that I am not angry or mad - I had to learn to let that go because it was getting me no where.What I needed to accept, what I had to accept was that harboring that type of resentment was toxic. In fact, to keep it would have been ironic, as it would have been the opposite of the message of love I so want you to make your priority again. I had to let it go. Just as I had to accept letting myself be the way that I am, I had to come to terms with our differences, making peace with the fact that unless there are changes, I don't know that I could ever be able to have an intimate closeness with you like I had before. And that's okay, because we somehow walk on our journeys separately but together as we follow the same Christ.

Regardless of who you think I may have become, I am still that same girl who loved and still loves God. I know He is the end all, say all and that, in every situation, he is who calls the shots. I simply experience my knowledge of this very differently now, finally feeling like I am able to breathe, no longer tied down and put into a box in which I didn't fit. I am free to see a Christ I've never seen before, because I am no longer hiding behind a dogma that went against my very nature. Because while there are people that fit beautifully within your walls and are the purest example of what every human should aspire to be, I can only hope to follow in their footsteps in my own way by only following the non-judging, non-threatening being who chooses to show His love for us about all else.

This Lent I, like many others, will take the journey of simplicity and prayer in order to gain closeness with God, only I will be keeping one prayer always present in my mind:

For the Church to be first and foremost a living testament of the love of God. Let us pray to the Lord: Lord hear our prayer. 

Thank you for all you have brought me and taught me. I will always love you ... but never first.

-xoxo, Rosie

How I Found My Real Voice - Part II

Accepting that I was an emotional cripple who was keeping herself from her own vocal potential wasn't exactly easy, but at least I had Neil to guide me. His main goal was to help me learn to let go, but most importantly, think differently.

You see, I was basically asking myself to get over years of thinking that wasn't all that positive. To all my fellow one-time or current perfectionistic, Catholic-guilt recovering readers out there - I'm sure you'll be able to relate to some if not all of the expectations, to which I held myself accountable, described below.

I've only added a few because, you know, character limit and such.

For 23 years, some of the over-achieving tendencies I followed - in order to gain saint-hood, apparently - are organized by bullet points for your reading pleasure:

• Judge myself every time I did something wrong. Seriously. Especially musically. I had to be the best. Every single time.

"I shouldn't have breathed in the middle of that phrase even though my face was turning blue! I suck." 

• Expecting too much of myself when I was already doing too much, resulting in disappointment when I inevitably didn't have enough time or energy to do it all. 

"Rosie - stop it. You can TOTALLY go to your voice lesson, marching band, dance class, volunteer at the woman's shelter, help the little old lady cross the street, visit the sick, go to church and choir rehearsal all in one day!"... every single time.

• Never resting.

"Rest?! What? I've got things to do. Hello? Haven't you seen my schedule!". Every single... you get it already.

• Ask myself :

"What did you do, Rosie?!" when someone treated me badly. Clearly I was always, not just sometimes, the problem. Mea culpa. 

• Reminding myself, when applicable, that it is a terrible sin to even think negatively of someone else , resulting in my being kind at all times.... even when someone was treating me like a dirty rag - closest thing to an expletive I could use for purpose of comparison. This, to be honest, was probably the worst of the offenders. 

No example. Just have to always keep in mind little reminders from people like J. Cole: Love yourself, girl, or nobody will. 

And so began the process of learning to let go.



The Resolution

To overcome 23 years of self-deprecating thoughts, Neil had me do two very repetitive, yet deeply emotional exercises.

Warning: Some expletives will follow.

Part of the story, I promise.


Exercise # 1

Says Neil, "Because you refuse to be angry at anyone other than yourself, I want you to think of the people that have hurt you the most. Like made you reeeeeaaaalllly angry but you never said anything because you couldn't or wouldn't. Do it and yell at them in the mirror:  'Fuck you!'."

"Excuse me ..."
"... what?"

"Do it."

"...Fuck you."

"Come on. What's that? You're not angry. You're just saying it to say it. Yell it, loudly, and mean it. "FUCK YOU."

"Fuck you."

"Rosie. Stop trying to be polite. There's no way that phrase could ever be polite. Grab all the anger you have and say it!"

"...Fuck you. FUCK you. FUCK ... you."

*Serious face from Neil*
"Work on it Rosie. Practice at home."


Exercise #2

Says Neil, "Lay on the floor and don't do anything. Forget about everything. Just be present. Apologize to yourself for all the times you've hurt you."

"I'm sorry, Rosie."

"Rosie. You've put yourself through a lot in 23 years. Be truly sorry...and forgive yourself."

Tears running down my face -typical - recalling years and years of self inflicted mental and sometimes physical abuse.

"I'm so sorry Rosie. Sorry for everything I've put you through. Sorry I've mistreated you and hated you and didn't value you."

"Tell yourself you love yourself."

"But I don't..."

"Do it over and over again until you do."


I did this for weeks. Over and over I yelled at the mirror while I was at home and my mother would hear me and be mortified.
Mom: ¡¿Que es eso, NIÑA?!
Translation: What are you saying, young lady?!

Me: "Estoy practicando Mami."
Translation: I'm practicing, Mom.

I laid on the floor, crying and chanting "I love you, Rosie. Please forgive me." and my mother would be at the door asking me,
Mom: "¿Que te pasa ... Alguien te hizo daño?!"
Translation: What happened? Did someone hurt you?!

Me: "No, Mami. Estoy practicando."
Translation: No, Mom. Still just practicing.

Mom: "HA. Tremenda practica."
Translation: HA. Some practicing that is.

It's a Hispanic thing.

I did this until I started to let go, more and more each time. Every note sounding a little better. Every line of music sounding more authentic. So much more open and free. 

And it's funny. It somehow helped me to stop obsessing about what people thought of me so much, too. I thought I was "bad" less often- whatever being bad even meant. Maybe started to wean out the people and things that were keeping me down.

Don't get me wrong - it wasn't like I became Sophia Petrillo overnight or anything, but I started to learn to let go, which was evident during each and every lesson. Maybe it helped that I stopped listening to Adele and started listening to Beyoncé instead.

Who run the world? Girls. 

Whatever it was, I was dedicated to being better. Stronger. Enough that there was a specific moment in time where I, along with Neil, was able to pinpoint my musical breakthrough and find my real voice. It was one of the most beautiful, rewarding, overwhelming, monumental moments I had ever had with myself. And I feel blessed that I was able to tape that session and now share that personal, intimate, imperfect yet real moment with all of you below.

Ahem. Just do me a favor and don't mind the emotions that are evident in this recording. I was elated but it comes off as being a little too giddy.

I would like to end with a few words for the people who are reading this post, perhaps currently going through an artistic struggle or discovery, just like me: Never give up on looking for the true, most authentic artist within you. It doesn't matter what type of art it is or how long it takes you, what struggles you have to go through or what type of baggage you have to throw out in order to get there. It's never too late. And, more importantly, if it makes you happy, it's never not worth it. Just be brave and throw yourself into it - I'm learning to do that, too, along with the rest of the artists out there who have a dream. So, remember,  you're not alone :) Just know that as insignificant as it may seem, a reflection of the real you is being added to the great things of the world, which could never lack value.

Thanks for reading - xoxo, Rosie

How I Found My Real Voice - Part I

What is singing? According to Wikipedia ...

"Singing is the act of producing musical sounds with the voice, and augments regular speech by the use of both tonality and rhythm ... It may  be done for pleasure, comfort, ritual, education or profit. Excellence in singing may require time, dedication, instruction and regular practice."

From my perspective, that's a pretty spot on, down to earth definition. And if the actual act of becoming a good singer is all that you are looking to do, follow the advice above and I'm sure you will achieve your goal.

But I don't think most of us are simply looking to be good singers or musicians. What we are looking for is to be great artists, someone who is able to touch a listening crowd by leaving all of our most personal emotions on stage, moving people in ways that are beyond our own understanding. We want to provoke smiles, tears,  happy laughter - if we mean to be funny- and leave an audience of people roaring because they don't want the music to stop. That's when you know you've grown into an artist, that's when you know you've found your real voice.

The Realization

Once upon a time there was a girl named Rosie who wanted to be a nun. Let that sink in. I know it's not a career path most people choose to pursue.

As it turns out - You got this part already, I'm sure. - that didn't happen for reasons that are funny, sad, frustrating, eye-opening and destiny-driven, worth explaining in a separate post dedicated to the subject.

Fast forward to 2010 where I enter the real world, a "normal" life that was mostly *gasp*  secular. My first time thrown into a way of living I had not yet gotten the chance to experience as an adult. The first time I had a real job. The first time I had made new and great friends, mostly non-religious and wonderful. All big deals to me.

It was also the first time I fell in love.


Guess that part's important, huh? Something I never thought would happen to me, did. And it was mostly ... awful.

Sigh. Where do I begin?

Since I'm not exactly sure and probably haven't been given enough characters in this blog post to recite years of a truly platonic love and and overall f$%$#ed up situation, I will sum it up in the following words, which I've edited a little, to fit my personal experience. From a post in Thought Catalog ...

" ... the love I [had for him] was too much for me. It was raw, it was passionate, it was all-
encompassing, it was emotional, it was everything. He was the first thing I thought about in the morning and the last thing I thought about at night. I felt incomplete when I wasn’t around him, and when he was near it was like everything was right in the world again. He was my other half [without being my other half], and what I considered the best part of myself. He made me crazy and emotional. It was [always] ... a roller coaster of missing him, loving him, hating him[but never admitting it], and needing him."

That love broke me. Bad. Like - real bad. We're talking Oprah-Ugly-Cry on the bus ride home from work, having a homeless man ask you if you're okay and apologizing for not having a tissue to give you bad. #embarassing

Still, to the people that saw me every day, save a select few, I was the same happy-go-lucky Rosie who could handle anything and never cracked. In my mind, if I didn't mention it, if the majority of the outside world was unable to see my imperfections - because the thought that they could terrified me - than I also didn't have to see them, much less deal with them. I could be this totally fake, perfect person.

BRILLIANT.

This is how I presented myself when I met Neil.

It was rather short lived.

Neil Semer is like the guru of voice teachers, asking his students to dig deeply within themselves and sing from the chakra of the heart. Beautiful, artistic,  real voice type stuff. I had learned of him through the oh-so-wonderful Mikhail Hallak who I had coached with years earlier and who thought Neil's teaching style would be a great fit for me - and probably necessary, although he didn't say that. And so, for a very short period of time, I took another shot at the world of classical music and had the pleasure of working with Neil.

Neil is great. Out of the box, non-conforming and simply wanting to help bring out the artist in each person he works with. He had me walk around the room to feel the ground, acting like an ape, fix my posture to love and use my generous body while singing, stretch my neck to loosen up and practice doing four different facial expressions all at once to help me gain control of my face - which not only seemed impossible, but made me look funny.

He also wasted no time. During my second lesson, while my fake persona was less on point than usual, and he felt comfortable enough that he could finally say something - no time like the present -,  he stopped and said, "What's going on?".

Almost intuitively, I responded. "... I just want to hold on."


Hold up. Did I just say that? Because I didn't mean to. Is he even going to know what that MEANS??? I don't even know what that means!

And then he said this:

"There is nothing to hold onto, Rosie. Just muscles to tense. Do you know what would happen if you did that while you were swimming?"

"...I would drown."

"Yes. Because you began to panic and, out of fear, it would happen. Right now, this is how you are singing, out of panic and fear. What you need to do is sing out of love."


Wow.


That was the first time I publicly accepted, in fact ever realized, that I hadn't let go of any unnecessary baggage because I was terrified of having to pick up the broken pieces of, what I thought, was failure.

 I had failed at being a good Christian. I had failed at becoming a nun. I had really failed at finishing music school because I wanted to follow the path of being a good Christian and becoming a nun - which, by the way, I had failed at. And most recently I had failed at making the person I loved so much love me back. My imperfections, my losses, my sadness, my fears, everything that I didn't think was positive, I did not deal with but buried inside of me while it all screamed to be let out. And in that burial, I had buried my real voice, too.

But, in my realization I also realized there was a difference between my voice and everything else I had squashed down inside. Unlike everything else my voice was not one of my failures. It didn't belong there with all the other b.s. My voice was never and could never be a mistake. In fact, if I wasn't proud of anything else at that moment, when there were so many trials, when I felt like no one could truly understand my life as I had lived it, that was the one thing I knew I could be proud of. I couldn't let it go because it had so much to say. I had so much to say.

"We're going to work on this and help you let go. That's my priority.", Neil says.

"I would love that...Thank you.", I say.

That day I walked away from my lesson knowing I had found a person who could help me through my first real, musical breakthrough. And although that might seem dramatic, you have no idea how truly dramatic it was.



To be continued.

I auditioned for 'The Voice'.

Yesterday, three of my favorite people jumped in the car as moral support and journeyed with me to audition for NBC's hit show 'The Voice'. And, as promised, I have a few things to share, including the audition process, new experiences and my feelings after.

-The Process-
Suppppper interesting. Maybe it's just NYC, (You never know who you're going to encounter there as far as personality is concerned.) but nothing prepares you more than a mix of kind people smiling and wishing you luck vs. those who may possibly think you're a terrorist - Ma'am, I know it's your job to keep everyone in this building safe, but I promise you there are no weapons of mass destruction in my wallet.

The organization of it all is rather impressive. Multiple lines with people giving you clear direction. Outside for about an hour and half - not too shabby. Inside the building and down the escalator into the basement of the Javits Center, walking for what seems like forever  - if it weren't for the fact that there were many other people wandering aimlessly to the same place you might be concerned. Security - Hello there, Miss Security Lady. Still no explosives on my person. Pinky swear.

Tagged with a wristband, wished luck and sat in order to wait for a bit. Next to me there's a guy who's super nervous with a really sweet singing voice.
"How does that sound?" he asks.
"Really nice. You have a very sweet voice." I say.
"Ugh. I'm so nervous."
"Don't be. This isn't about them. It's about you doing what you love."
Silence.
"I'm still nervous."
... Can't say I didn't try.

We are counted off in groups of ten and asked to stand against a wall. There are other groups ahead of us. "You guys are next. Don't be nervous! Remember this is supposed to be fun!" - Did they just say that to my group? But I thought there were people in front of us. Not that I'm not ready, but...Just go with the flow, Rosie.

Into a small room with ten chairs we go. The ten of us sit down in front of us a female judge, her face covered by a MacBookPro in a teal case. She peeks out and says.

"Hello. Thank you for coming. Each audition will be short and sweet as to give everyone a chance to sing since there are many people here. Sing a verse and the chorus or thirty seconds of your song. If necessary, I will cut you off."

She shuffled our registration passes and we were called in random order. Cool. The nervous guy goes first. We clap for him. He's still nervous. He told me again when he sat down.
"Raw-see-oh...?"
"It's Ro-see-o." - she was probably still confused.
" I will be singing 'Amado Mio' by Pink Martini."
Looks of confusion. Maybe I was the only one in the room who liked and listened to little, contemporary orchestras from Portland.

And there I go. Belting my little heart out rather loudly. Carefully assessing volume levels afterwards, adding ornamentation and making musical choices that had been carefully thought out. Then I finished singing all verses of the song.
"That's it ...?" the judge asks .
"...Yes...That's it" - was I supposed to sing more words?! I hadn't thought of adding more words! You said a verse or thirty seconds, Miss, and that's what I did. I should have been more creative.
Everyone clapped and I sat down.

And so it went until all ten people had a chance to sing. Someone forgot the words. Another person picked a Broadway Song that was more spoken than sung - interesting. All in all, however, there were a few beautiful singers in the room.

When we were done, the judge picked up our registration forms again, tapped them on the table as if to align them all, doesn't make any moves towards the pile of red call-back slips, and says,
 "Thank you for coming today. I won't be calling anyone back but I heard potential in the room today. Keep working at it."

And that was it. We were let go. All in all a process that took me two hours and a half to complete.

- New Experiences -
I'm a classical singer who has recently accepted that she no longer wishes to sing classical music or church music, much less work towards being an opera singer. Disclaimer: There is nothing wrong with any of the aforementioned. It's absolutely beautiful music, moving beyond words. And there is no doubt about it - classical singing provides a technique more solid than any other singing foundation. I am grateful for what it has taught and provided me throughout my journey.

It's just not me for me, not my forever. I just want to sing. I'm not sure what or where that will be or how it will be done, but I guess I just have faith it will happen. Especially if I'm working at it and open to new opportunities At least this was a step in the right direction. No more labels, just me doing what I love most. This realization alone is the best of the new experiences that stemmed from preparing and having this audition.

But if you want to know the most eye opening experience I had - seeing people's reaction to rejection. Don't get me wrong. Rejection is tough. Even I took twenty minutes to myself afterwards, as silly as it sounds, letting myself be sad for a bit and then reminding myself that it was simply okay. Not bad. Not good. Not indifferent but okay. I was okay. I am a great singer and singing is something I love and will continue to do always. Even if I did take a hiatus of a few years...

Anyhow, that's always been the way I've handled rejection. It's actually the way I've experienced most singers handle rejection, really. I guess the world of classical music just holds a certain level of prestige that makes you not want to act a fool or look unprofessional in front of colleagues and other musicians. You may very well be pissed - you'll go home and talk to your closest friends, voice teacher, voice coach, the lady doing your nails or even the mailman, but never in that moment for fear of something coming back to bite you.

This is not the case for auditions such as yesterday's, I discovered. In fact, the air of reality - aka not holding back - is apparent, almost transparent, when auditioning for 'The Voice'.

"Yo! I can't even believe I didn't get picked.", a contestant says loud and in front of a crowd as he meets back up with the people that came to support him.
"Maybe if I woulda sang some damn COUNTRY MUSIC I coulda had a callback!!!?"

Multiply that remark by tons of other people who didn't get a callback slip. Anger. Lots of it. And many comments similar to the following:

 "Forget this damn show! I didn't wanna be on it anyway."

Whoa. Change of mind so soon, ey? At least it was entertaining to watch.


- Feelings?- 

A lot but mostly excitement and drive for what may come.

2015 is truly the year of musical change for me. In 2013 I lost the weight I've wanted to lose my whole life. In 2014 I moved out of my parent's house and became truly independent. Thus this year is the year I dedicate myself to my art and starting the process of truly making something of it.

I think this audition pushed me to experience a new side of music. Practice again. Listen to music more deeply. Sing things I hadn't ever performed but that felt right and fun. I can't say that the experience itself was life changing, because it wasn't. But it was important to me because it made me happy.

And that, my friends and family, is what it's all about.



Here's to new directions, discoveries and opportunities.

Bringing It Back

I re-discovered this gem of a blog today after quite some time. It started with the time in my life when I was happiest: Rome. Then there were a few posts from the time I discerned the religious life - great period of transformation for me in which I learned so much, both spiritually and intellectually. After that was the re-direction. A re-discovery of what I refer to as 'common life' aka 'being normal'. Finding love for the first time. Losing love for the first time. Sadness and anger and just a host of things that were dark stepping stones that helped me grow. And then I stopped posting. This was right around the time I started to focus on balance. Who is Rosie? What is she capable of? How can she help the world.

After careful consideration, I've decided to bring the blog back. I've deleted the negative memories in here, as some of them were too personal and stemming from a bad place (Just know that it hasn't always been positivity for me - you probably already knew that, though. To get to the light, to a place where I choose to handle situations positively, I've traveled through a lot of darkness. It's been a part of my journey.). In fact the only posts I kept were those I had when I lived in Rome. Those are the memories of a 19 year old girl who traveled by herself to a country in which she knew no one but God, without knowing how long she'd be there, not thinking about it twice. I always want to remember that courage and the fact that I've always been strong.

Welcome to "The Joy in Living" where I will share happy news, memories and maybe even some trials along the way.

First blog post to come soon. Wait for it.

And then there was "The Voice".

The year of letting the world see your real light starts now. 

Cara Roma, come mi manchi!

Tomorrow will be two months since I have gotten back to the U.S. from Rome.

All I can say is my 'Roman Vacation' was and is the beginning of many beautiful journeys.

Maria José, Rebeca Adriana, Maria Leticia, Elisabeth Marie-Claire Rosario, Ileana, Claudia, Miriam Michaela Sara, Rebecca, Carly, Carrie, Gabriella, Lolita, Sylvia, Miriam, Waldi, Chiara,Sabrina...

 

 Mi mancate...Je vous manquez...Me hacen falta...I MISS YOU!

...But thank God that I united to you all by prayer.

Heyyyy there :)

Just a little note to let everyone know I am doing well and that I love you all!!!

Quite a few busy past weeks, and I am sure it will be the same for weeks to come. (One must get the most out of their last month in the beautiful city of Rome :)

In my thoughts in my prayers.