Yesterday, three of my favorite people jumped in the car as moral support and journeyed with me to audition for NBC's hit show 'The Voice'. And, as promised, I have a few things to share, including the audition process, new experiences and my feelings after.
-The Process-
Suppppper interesting. Maybe it's just NYC, (You never know who you're going to encounter there as far as personality is concerned.) but nothing prepares you more than a mix of kind people smiling and wishing you luck vs. those who may possibly think you're a terrorist - Ma'am, I know it's your job to keep everyone in this building safe, but I promise you there are no weapons of mass destruction in my wallet.
The organization of it all is rather impressive. Multiple lines with people giving you clear direction. Outside for about an hour and half - not too shabby. Inside the building and down the escalator into the basement of the Javits Center, walking for what seems like forever - if it weren't for the fact that there were many other people wandering aimlessly to the same place you might be concerned. Security - Hello there, Miss Security Lady. Still no explosives on my person. Pinky swear.
Tagged with a wristband, wished luck and sat in order to wait for a bit. Next to me there's a guy who's super nervous with a really sweet singing voice.
"How does that sound?" he asks.
"Really nice. You have a very sweet voice." I say.
"Ugh. I'm so nervous."
"Don't be. This isn't about them. It's about you doing what you love."
Silence.
"I'm still nervous."
... Can't say I didn't try.
We are counted off in groups of ten and asked to stand against a wall. There are other groups ahead of us. "You guys are next. Don't be nervous! Remember this is supposed to be fun!" - Did they just say that to my group? But I thought there were people in front of us. Not that I'm not ready, but...Just go with the flow, Rosie.
Into a small room with ten chairs we go. The ten of us sit down in front of us a female judge, her face covered by a MacBookPro in a teal case. She peeks out and says.
"Hello. Thank you for coming. Each audition will be short and sweet as to give everyone a chance to sing since there are many people here. Sing a verse and the chorus or thirty seconds of your song. If necessary, I will cut you off."
She shuffled our registration passes and we were called in random order. Cool. The nervous guy goes first. We clap for him. He's still nervous. He told me again when he sat down.
"Raw-see-oh...?"
"It's Ro-see-o." - she was probably still confused.
" I will be singing 'Amado Mio' by Pink Martini."
Looks of confusion. Maybe I was the only one in the room who liked and listened to little, contemporary orchestras from Portland.
And there I go. Belting my little heart out rather loudly. Carefully assessing volume levels afterwards, adding ornamentation and making musical choices that had been carefully thought out. Then I finished singing all verses of the song.
"That's it ...?" the judge asks .
"...Yes...That's it" - was I supposed to sing more words?! I hadn't thought of adding more words! You said a verse or thirty seconds, Miss, and that's what I did. I should have been more creative.
Everyone clapped and I sat down.
And so it went until all ten people had a chance to sing. Someone forgot the words. Another person picked a Broadway Song that was more spoken than sung - interesting. All in all, however, there were a few beautiful singers in the room.
When we were done, the judge picked up our registration forms again, tapped them on the table as if to align them all, doesn't make any moves towards the pile of red call-back slips, and says,
"Thank you for coming today. I won't be calling anyone back but I heard potential in the room today. Keep working at it."
And that was it. We were let go. All in all a process that took me two hours and a half to complete.
- New Experiences -
I'm a classical singer who has recently accepted that she no longer wishes to sing classical music or church music, much less work towards being an opera singer. Disclaimer: There is nothing wrong with any of the aforementioned. It's absolutely beautiful music, moving beyond words. And there is no doubt about it - classical singing provides a technique more solid than any other singing foundation. I am grateful for what it has taught and provided me throughout my journey.
It's just not me for me, not my forever. I just want to sing. I'm not sure what or where that will be or how it will be done, but I guess I just have faith it will happen. Especially if I'm working at it and open to new opportunities At least this was a step in the right direction. No more labels, just me doing what I love most. This realization alone is the best of the new experiences that stemmed from preparing and having this audition.
But if you want to know the most eye opening experience I had - seeing people's reaction to rejection. Don't get me wrong. Rejection is tough. Even I took twenty minutes to myself afterwards, as silly as it sounds, letting myself be sad for a bit and then reminding myself that it was simply okay. Not bad. Not good. Not indifferent but okay. I was okay. I am a great singer and singing is something I love and will continue to do always. Even if I did take a hiatus of a few years...
Anyhow, that's always been the way I've handled rejection. It's actually the way I've experienced most singers handle rejection, really. I guess the world of classical music just holds a certain level of prestige that makes you not want to act a fool or look unprofessional in front of colleagues and other musicians. You may very well be pissed - you'll go home and talk to your closest friends, voice teacher, voice coach, the lady doing your nails or even the mailman, but never in that moment for fear of something coming back to bite you.
This is not the case for auditions such as yesterday's, I discovered. In fact, the air of reality - aka not holding back - is apparent, almost transparent, when auditioning for 'The Voice'.
"Yo! I can't even believe I didn't get picked.", a contestant says loud and in front of a crowd as he meets back up with the people that came to support him.
"Maybe if I woulda sang some damn COUNTRY MUSIC I coulda had a callback!!!?"
Multiply that remark by tons of other people who didn't get a callback slip. Anger. Lots of it. And many comments similar to the following:
"Forget this damn show! I didn't wanna be on it anyway."
Whoa. Change of mind so soon, ey? At least it was entertaining to watch.
- Feelings?-
A lot but mostly excitement and drive for what may come.
2015 is truly the year of musical change for me. In 2013 I lost the weight I've wanted to lose my whole life. In 2014 I moved out of my parent's house and became truly independent. Thus this year is the year I dedicate myself to my art and starting the process of truly making something of it.
I think this audition pushed me to experience a new side of music. Practice again. Listen to music more deeply. Sing things I hadn't ever performed but that felt right and fun. I can't say that the experience itself was life changing, because it wasn't. But it was important to me because it made me happy.
And that, my friends and family, is what it's all about.
Here's to new directions, discoveries and opportunities.
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