And so...

...I regret to say that I didn't pass my Italian Exam for Santa Cecilia, or those are at least the tentitive results. (They haven't been made official yet.)

I will explain the situation. This year there were 120 foreign candidates up for auditioning, of which the top 7 seven, and only the top 7, are invited back for an audition. This situation was made up due to the fact that in the past years so many people were allowed to audition after having a very easy/leniant Italian exam. Then it would happen that the people chosen for the school after the audition were, in fact, wonderful, very talented, but when it came to studying and going profoundly into different subjects, they couldn't understand what was going on, and would basically, as I understood, fail. This year is the first year they've adapted a system to change this situation. However, at all ends, the director of the school is the one who makes the final choices and decides who can audition. SOO, tomorrow I will return with Miriam, who took down the director's telephone number, so that we can make an appointment to talk to her about the situation. And also, I will talk with another professor I have been in contact with for the past few months.

In other words, I do in fact feel like I am supposed to fight for an audition at least and see what happens. THAT is very important for me to do. (And in fact reading today's reading's really 'concreted' that notion.) For one, I feel like it is what I have been brought here to do, and perhaps this is just something I have to work really hard for. And also, if I don't, I will always remember, 'Hmmm...I really felt like I should have worked for that, and I didn't because I was afraid to.' So I will try. And if I try and have no success, well than it will be saddening, as it always is when you audition and aren't accepted, especially after you have worked really hard, but at the same time, I will know that it wasn't God's will, as HARD as that is to accept, it's just the truth. And it always happens, at least in my life and I know that it must also in the lives of many others, that we are so dissapointed by these things and think how unjust it is that God took 'something away' that we worked so hard for, only to find out that the next thing we do ended up to be far more meaningful, and far more important in our lives, and most of all in the lives of those we can help, even though we are incapable of seeing how that works at first. Quindi(therefore), we shall what happens. Whichever way this situation goes, not that it will at all be easy to handle, it will be what's best. That just means God has something much bigger in store (Oh man...I can't even imagine what THAT would be like...) But this, I have rock solid faith in.

As always, from the city where everyone yells at you for no reason and you are told you can only practice at midnight, very lowly, so that no one can hear you, in my prayers, folks.

p.s. PLEASE continue to pray that I receive the virtue of patience and understanding, as I tend to want to say, to quote Minnie Driver in Return to Me, 'WHAT WAS GOD THINKING????' :)

Love you all...